To Gabriel

"Ever since my birthday I haven't been the most positive which is hard to believe because I was always about being positive, smiling and believing in myself and others. You were such a special and meaningful person in my life that you became a vessel within me that i could not live without. Now that we are no longer bound together, my life has been full of pain. Pain I have to get used to. The truth has been revealed to me by time itself. When the truth was revealed, I cried a very unhealthy amount of tears. The tears i cried were a representation of the love I had — and still continue to have — for you, as well as the love you embedded into my soul. No reason for leaving is greater than the other. In my heart, any reason that influences you to make the decision of leaving will be weighed the same. I love(d) you, fell in love with your life, your past, your demeanor, your body language, the love you had for me, but deeply, your heart and gentleness. Since you made your decision, I have had to learn how to go through life without you being in reach. As each day passes, i am reminded of you by the moments we shared and the little unrecognizable things that I was lucky enough to notice. Throughout our relationship, I studied you, the way you live, react, and love. I overanalyzed everything you did to the point where it became instinct to know what was going to happen. Analyzing you was so normal that i involuntarily started adapting to little things you used to do. The second i am reminded of you, I stop to reminisce about all the times we experienced together. I love to think about all the wonderful times we spent together but am haunted by the reason why we are no longer one. Being reminded of the truth makes my soul, mind, and heart ache so intensely. I always think about if you ever regret the decision you made because i truly think i was meant to be the one to love you and your family for the rest of my life. Your amazing mother has made such a great and beautiful impact to my life and she too, does know the truth. I've told so many people about our story and how we became a compliment to each others lives and to this day (months later), people I've told our story to are unknowingly asking how you are. It pains my soul having to tell the story of what truly happened between us. After everything you have done, I still love you. I miss you. I miss writing to you and giving you hand written letters, expressing my love for you in the most original ways. Please continue living your life. Take time for yourself and your thoughts. Let yourself think and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. You may not enjoy how your body reacts to your mind and way of thinking but it's healthy to let yourself loose. Healing is important and part of the process and if you continue to distract and corrupt yourself from what really matters then you will continue to feel more guilty. I always have the urge to reach out to you and that is why i am here. If you made it this far, thank you for reading, I appreciate it and know that I would love for us to have a mature conversation and talk things out no matter how long that takes. I made a promise. We made a promise. I hope you consider reconnecting with me once again. I will be here waiting. I love you, Mi Precioso."